We see it creep into our language at an early age, tend to notice it in others more than ourselves and, though it takes on many forms, at one point or another we’ve all done it… So what is it exactly that makes our tendency to blame others for our poor behavior so tempting?
The following is an interview between Brittany Senseman, LPC-S, and Melanie Sutton, LPC. Melanie is a trained sex therapist with a Christian world view. In this interview, Mel answers some basic questions regarding the purpose and process of sex therapy.
When you read the word “family,” what feelings do you have? Some of you relaxed your faces and experienced joy, while others just got a knot in your stomachs as you felt the anxiety creep in. I want you to take a moment right now and figure out what you’re feeling. Seriously, stop reading and pay attention to what your body is telling you! I’ll wait…Ok, now that you know what you’re feeling, I’d like you to think about how satisfied you are with that feeling. Are you happy with your reaction or do you wish it were different?
The summer before I turned 6 years old, I moved from West Texas to Houston, and it was a little rough at first. Where I used to live, there were lots of kids to play with who lived on my street. We just walked to each other’s houses and ran around all day. At my new house, I knew nobody; and because it was summer, there was no way to meet anyone at school. I got super bored and lonely very quickly… like I said, it was rough !I used to ride my bike through the neighborhood looking for kids to play with; and even if I saw some, I was too embarrassed to just walk up and say, “Hi.”
Sex. It’s one of the top three things that couples fight about within marriage. Why? I can think of at least two major contributing factors. The first is that sex is deeply personal and vulnerable. And the second is that very few people are actually taught how to talk about this sensitive topic in a healthy manner. If the couple happens to be Christian, then the chances are even slimmer that they’ve learned how to communicate their sexual desires or concerns to one another.
We spend lots of time trying to figure out how to do romantic relationships, but what about friendships? We have a lot more friends than we do romantic interests (or at least we should), so it makes sense to spend some time figuring out what a healthy adult friendship looks like.I’m going to give you a completely oversimplified way of categorizing every single person on the planet into only two categories - yes, just two categories for 6 billion people. Here they are - safe and unsafe.
In all of my experience as a psychotherapist, I can honestly say that I have never encountered a client who was not wrestling with some aspect of intimacy. Intimacy means a deep knowledge, which facilitates understanding and connectedness. Whether the client’s presenting problem was focused on decision making regarding career development or coping with extreme trauma, each person I have worked with has had to explore their knowledge of and connection to self and others.
In any relationship, conflict is inevitable. Many couples want to know if there is a right way and a wrong way to resolve conflict. Relationship researcher, John Gottman, says the way couples fight is not as important to marital happiness as the way they make up. Gottman’s more than 25 years of observing and studying couple interaction has shown that three components of making up can make a huge difference in marital satisfaction.
My husband’s mother recently moved in to our house. She has ALS. We now help her with routine daily actions that you and I carryout without conscious consideration. While it’s very hard to watch her surrender her independence, it can be considered an opportunity to return the favor by doing for her what now she cannot.
I love movies, old and new, and I’m a sucker for a sappy love story. Recently I re-watched “Love Story” -- wow, it has been awhile. I first saw the movie as a teenager, and I imagine my young self tearfully absorbing the movie while giving silent validation to the never-before-spoken phrase, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”